Just think of this post as my version of Oprah's "Favorite Things"...minus the refrigerators and croissants.
Pre-recorded political phone calls. These are out of control this year and the level of pandering only goes to prove that the politicians all think we're a bunch of lemmings whose minds can be changed with a generic message. Michelle Obama called me one day. Thanks to her, I know that there is early voting here in North Carolina. Whew. Neither John nor Cindy McCain has yet to call me, but I'm hopeful. A group called "Americans for Job Security" called yesterday. I can only assume that, since I am not a member of said group, they think I enjoy mass corporate turnover rates.
People who turn right in order to turn left. Have you ever noticed that some people get into the left-turn lane only to swerve back into the go-straight lane in a misguided effort to make a ridiculously wide left turn? You're not in an eighteen wheeler, you're in a Prius. Your turning radius can handle 90 degrees. Get out of my lane.
"I don't believe in...". An aggravating phrase when misused. "I don't believe in Santa": fine- your choice- enjoy the coal you find in your stocking. "I don't believe in God": also fine- let me know how that turns out for you . "I don't believe in ghosts": your call. "I don't believe in the lottery (insert your choice of controversial topic here)": not fine. You can choose not to believe in it but, generally speaking, that's going to be a losing battle for you. The lottery/whatever exists. Denying its existence seems rather silly, no?
2 year olds who don't nap. Further explanation should not be necessary.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
3 Lessons learned on a Friday
Today is a rainy and cool day here in Charlotte (read: icky and not suitable for going outside). We had our friend, Bradley, over for a few hours earlier. Bradley and Makena are the same age and I'm pretty sure he's got the hots for Reese- time will tell :).
Let me preface my story with a reminder for everyone that I am a type-a, retentive, slightly OCD neatnick at my core. I've gotten much better with the addition of two kids, but I still get all twitchy inside when I know there's a mess lurking.
Today I let three kids paint pumpkins with non-washable acrylic paints on my floor. Believe it or not, we all had fun AND managed to keep the paint where it was supposed to be (and skin and hands, which I don't count as bad!).
I learned two important lessons from the painting episode.
1- when you only have a few colors of pastel paints to choose from and the artists pretty much just swirl it around all together, you wind up with gray-blue pumpkins.
2- the theory that there is freedom and redemption if a twitchy, anti-mess person like me just "lets go and doesn't worry about the mess" is a load of crap. I didn't really do much worrying, but there was no freedom in there at all!
My third lesson of the day came in the bathroom. I've been wondering lately when we'll get to that point where large groups of kids can't just traipse to the bathroom together anymore. I'm not ready for the boy/girl differences speech yet. That point came today. As all four of us crowded into our tiny second bathroom, Makena tee-teed without episode (or even notice from Bradley). Bradley, however, garnered this remark upon finishing his duty. "You have a lollipop!!!"
Let me preface my story with a reminder for everyone that I am a type-a, retentive, slightly OCD neatnick at my core. I've gotten much better with the addition of two kids, but I still get all twitchy inside when I know there's a mess lurking.
Today I let three kids paint pumpkins with non-washable acrylic paints on my floor. Believe it or not, we all had fun AND managed to keep the paint where it was supposed to be (and skin and hands, which I don't count as bad!).
I learned two important lessons from the painting episode.1- when you only have a few colors of pastel paints to choose from and the artists pretty much just swirl it around all together, you wind up with gray-blue pumpkins.
2- the theory that there is freedom and redemption if a twitchy, anti-mess person like me just "lets go and doesn't worry about the mess" is a load of crap. I didn't really do much worrying, but there was no freedom in there at all!My third lesson of the day came in the bathroom. I've been wondering lately when we'll get to that point where large groups of kids can't just traipse to the bathroom together anymore. I'm not ready for the boy/girl differences speech yet. That point came today. As all four of us crowded into our tiny second bathroom, Makena tee-teed without episode (or even notice from Bradley). Bradley, however, garnered this remark upon finishing his duty. "You have a lollipop!!!"
Monday, October 20, 2008
Kiss-um Trees
A few gems of toddler-speak and song we've heard of late.
At Target after spotting the ever-earlier Christmas displays:
Reese: "MOMMY!! Go that way to the Kiss-um Trees!!"
Makena singing: "I stand on top on the Lord of God"
(should be "I stand alone on the word of God"- if you hear of lightning storms in Charlotte, you may want to steer clear of our house)
Reese can't seem to get her S blended consonants right- she replaces them all with an F sound. We see fool buses on the road, she eats with a foon, she loves to look at the fider (Halloween decoration) on our neighbor's house, and she loves to run around in her Twirly Firt (skirt).
Reese while on a walk: "Look at the Hire Fydrant!!" (Makena did the same thing- it cracks us up).
Makena upon spying a passing Bud Light truck (a truck with no pictures, just the words Bud Light): "Mommy, there is beer in that truck." Please note- we don't even drink Bud Light! Ah- the American Corporate Marketing machine at its best. Or worst.
Here are a few pictures from this year's punkin shopping trip.
At Target after spotting the ever-earlier Christmas displays:
Reese: "MOMMY!! Go that way to the Kiss-um Trees!!"
Makena singing: "I stand on top on the Lord of God"
(should be "I stand alone on the word of God"- if you hear of lightning storms in Charlotte, you may want to steer clear of our house)
Reese can't seem to get her S blended consonants right- she replaces them all with an F sound. We see fool buses on the road, she eats with a foon, she loves to look at the fider (Halloween decoration) on our neighbor's house, and she loves to run around in her Twirly Firt (skirt).
Reese while on a walk: "Look at the Hire Fydrant!!" (Makena did the same thing- it cracks us up).
Makena upon spying a passing Bud Light truck (a truck with no pictures, just the words Bud Light): "Mommy, there is beer in that truck." Please note- we don't even drink Bud Light! Ah- the American Corporate Marketing machine at its best. Or worst.
Here are a few pictures from this year's punkin shopping trip.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Politics at our house
Neither Brett nor I are terribly enthusiastic about politics. I mean, let's face it, no matter which side of the aisle you stand on or whose promises you find more alluring, it's really going to be the same old story, different set of faces any way you slice it.
That said, with an observant three-year-old who sits and watches The Today Show with me for a while every morning, it's impossible to avoid the beginnings of teaching Makena about current events. She recognizes Obama and calls him by name. She knows he and "the man with the white hair" want to be our president. She also knows "the lady with the black hair and glasses" wants to help "Sentor Makane".
This week Joe Biden made an appearance during the time we watch. We discussed that he wants to be the helper of "Sentor oBAma". She thought about that for a while and then declared that "Sentor Biden has mean eyes." Huh. Interesting.
That said, with an observant three-year-old who sits and watches The Today Show with me for a while every morning, it's impossible to avoid the beginnings of teaching Makena about current events. She recognizes Obama and calls him by name. She knows he and "the man with the white hair" want to be our president. She also knows "the lady with the black hair and glasses" wants to help "Sentor Makane".
This week Joe Biden made an appearance during the time we watch. We discussed that he wants to be the helper of "Sentor oBAma". She thought about that for a while and then declared that "Sentor Biden has mean eyes." Huh. Interesting.
Friday, September 26, 2008
The stuff of urban legends...
So this morning, just as Brett is about to walk out the door, I tell Makena it's time to go tee-tee on the potty. Her response is a bit unusual, but since she's prone to coming up with various reasons why she can't (read: doesn't want to) go to the potty, when she said "I can't tee-tee in here, there's a frog in the potty!" we didn't believe her. Then when Reese went into the bathroom to investigate she squealed "there's an animal in here!". That was reason enough for us to go check. Sure enough, this is what we found:
Odd.
Makena decided to flush him. Frogs have apparently evolved enough to develop flush-avoidance techniques. Charles Darwin would be floored.
Brett and I looked at each other. He was getting a look on his face that said "I'm on the clock now and Bank of America doesn't pay me to fish frogs out of toilets" so I cut him off by reminding him that "this was in your vows, remember? Love, honor, cherish, kill all spiders and remove all extraneous wildlife from the home". I won.
Armed with a slotted spoon, strainer and plastic plate (anyone want to come over for dinner?), Brett added "Frog Removal" to his ever-growing list of household accomplishments.
The frog (who desperately needs a name at this point) was released back into his natural front-yard environment. PETA would be pleased.
Odd.Makena decided to flush him. Frogs have apparently evolved enough to develop flush-avoidance techniques. Charles Darwin would be floored.
Brett and I looked at each other. He was getting a look on his face that said "I'm on the clock now and Bank of America doesn't pay me to fish frogs out of toilets" so I cut him off by reminding him that "this was in your vows, remember? Love, honor, cherish, kill all spiders and remove all extraneous wildlife from the home". I won.
Armed with a slotted spoon, strainer and plastic plate (anyone want to come over for dinner?), Brett added "Frog Removal" to his ever-growing list of household accomplishments.
The frog (who desperately needs a name at this point) was released back into his natural front-yard environment. PETA would be pleased.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Weekend in the mountains
This past weekend, I went with many friends to my church's women's retreat in the mountain resort of Montreat, NC. Before you ask, no, we didn't hold hands and sing Kumbya for 48 hours. This retreat leans more toward the wine-during-free-time end of the spectrum. I did have a meaningful and restful time, but I have to admit the highlight of the weekend was the annual competition we call "The Bag Game."
I'm about to embarrass myself here and I don't care. We play this ridiculous and utterly contrived game of very Young Life standards that involves a paper grocery bag. You have to stand on one foot, bend down, pick the bag up with your mouth and then rip off the part that you just slobbered on. The ripping ensures that the bag continues to get shorter with every round. It's just about the silliest thing ever...yet it has become a competition with pretty high stakes!
As you picture this, you'll certainly conclude that, in any game that involves bending over with the intent of getting as close to the ground as possible without losing your balance, it would obviously be advantageous to be short. This is proven by the fact that two of the previous three winners are 5 feet tall and 5 feet, 1 inch (on a good day?) and all three of them are incredibly limber! I am neither uber-short nor am I incredibly limber. I do, surprisingly, have a good sense of balance.
I will spare you the details, but I came in second! And considering the winner wasn't showing any signs of difficulty and was dead set on winning, I am claiming that as as big an accomplishment as I could possibly have made! Add to that the fact that, compared to the top five finishers, I am older, taller, have had two babies (only one of the other top five contenders- the reigning champion at the time- has children) and I was wearing jeans...I'm pretty content with second place!
Here are two pictures that will serve as visual explanation for you and as embarrassment for me.
I'm about to embarrass myself here and I don't care. We play this ridiculous and utterly contrived game of very Young Life standards that involves a paper grocery bag. You have to stand on one foot, bend down, pick the bag up with your mouth and then rip off the part that you just slobbered on. The ripping ensures that the bag continues to get shorter with every round. It's just about the silliest thing ever...yet it has become a competition with pretty high stakes!
As you picture this, you'll certainly conclude that, in any game that involves bending over with the intent of getting as close to the ground as possible without losing your balance, it would obviously be advantageous to be short. This is proven by the fact that two of the previous three winners are 5 feet tall and 5 feet, 1 inch (on a good day?) and all three of them are incredibly limber! I am neither uber-short nor am I incredibly limber. I do, surprisingly, have a good sense of balance.
I will spare you the details, but I came in second! And considering the winner wasn't showing any signs of difficulty and was dead set on winning, I am claiming that as as big an accomplishment as I could possibly have made! Add to that the fact that, compared to the top five finishers, I am older, taller, have had two babies (only one of the other top five contenders- the reigning champion at the time- has children) and I was wearing jeans...I'm pretty content with second place!
Here are two pictures that will serve as visual explanation for you and as embarrassment for me.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
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