That was the beginning of every mule joke Dad came up with on our hike out of the Grand Canyon last Sunday. Besides giving us some banter to take our minds off a rigorous climb up endless switchbacks, some of the jokes weren't half bad! Not funny enough to lure Gary Larson out of retirement, but one can dream...
As the terrain changed to desert, the trail evened out. When I say even I don't mean level, I mean consistent. Unfortunately, it was a consistently smooth 10% downward grade. That doesn't sound bad until you realize your toes are slamming up against the inside of your shoes with every step. Bruised toes: bad.
After 14 miles and about 8 hours (slow and steady wins the race...and comes out with toes intact!) we arrived at Phantom Ranch. It was built between 1922 and 1936 and it was another mystery to us. I don't know how many times we said "now how did they build/do/get that down here 80 or 90 years ago??". Let me tell you, this is definitely the way to go if you ever want to do a rim-to-rim. It's no Ritz, but you get a bed, shower, steak dinner and a huge breakfast. A thousand times more ideal than the guys at the neighboring campground who packed their tents and all their gear in and, worse yet, had to pack it right back out the next day. 
The Devil's Corkscrew set of switchbacks was much easier than its name might suggest. In fact, Dad and I both said (stupidly) at the top "wow- that wasn't bad- I did much better than I expected".
We sucessfully made it to the top at 2pm and I was so desperate to shower I about ran another half mile to get us checked in to our final hotel. Brett, James and I spent the rest of the afternoon sitting on a porch overlooking the South Rim people-watching and drinking what was quite possibly the best beer we'd ever had. Dad joined in for the sitting and watching part.
Brett, Dad and I met James at the Phoenix airport on Thursday and settled into a land yacht of a Toyota Avalon for the four hour drive to Grand Canyon National Park. Dad was the only one of us who'd been to the park before- but that was 35 years ago and was nothing more than an overnight rest stop on a cross-country trip- back when sleeping in your car in an overlook parking lot wasn't out of the ordinary. A stunning sunrise view, but no real action. This was our first view. 
It sounds cliche, but pictures can't do it justice. You really can't wrap your brain around how immense it is until you see it for yourself. It's jaw-dropping from the outset.
We went over to Bright Angel Lodge to check in to our first of four different places to sleep. Imagine the family road trip of 1954 and that's what the "Bucky Lodge" was- beds, newly renovated bathrooms and not much else. Imagine my embarassment when I asked the receptionist if there were TVs in the rooms. Slight heart palpitations when Brett and I realized we were going to be behind on LOST. We got over it.
We went over to Bright Angel Lodge to check in to our first of four different places to sleep. Imagine the family road trip of 1954 and that's what the "Bucky Lodge" was- beds, newly renovated bathrooms and not much else. Imagine my embarassment when I asked the receptionist if there were TVs in the rooms. Slight heart palpitations when Brett and I realized we were going to be behind on LOST. We got over it.
The next morning we played tourist and took a half zillion pictures from various spots on the South Rim. We were even able to see our halfway point (Phantom Ranch) from one vantage point...a mile below us and about five "horizontal miles" across. Look near the center of the bottom section of this picture- you can just see a few light-colored horizontal lines- those are a couple of the rooftops at Phantom Ranch.
At 11:30 we boarded a shuttle bound for the North Rim. The ride would be about 4 1/2 hours and our driver was a lady named Hap, short for Happy, and happy she was. She was especially happy about the fried zucchini she bought at one of our pitstops. The ride was an event unto itself. We passed through at least four kinds of landscapes- as we left things were almost similar to Central Texas- dry with lots of low trees, then we were in an area that reminded me of something from the set of the movie Tremors (Kevin Bacon was robbed of an Oscar that year), then into dramatic cliffs as we dropped down in elevation enough to cross the river. Side note- the afore mentioned cliffs (the Vermillion Cliffs) are one of a handful of release sites for California Condors born in captivity. We saw a few condors while we were on the South Rim- they are fascinating to watch fly- they have 9 foot wingspans but they glide around effortlessly...but they are about as ugly as they come. At the end of our long road trip our surroundings became evergreen forest again with...drumroll...snow on the ground! I began to wonder if I had come woefully unprepared.
We stayed at the only accommodations on the North Rim- the Grand Canyon Lodge. It's a beautiful old facility with a spectacular location. Its highlight is a multi-windowed Sun Room that offers a fantastic panoramic view of the canyon.
We got up the next morning (pleasantly surprised that, while cold, the temperature was nowhere near freezing) and were at the trailhead by 6am. We had 14 miles and a 6,000 foot elevation drop ahead of us.
The first 5 or 6 miles were series of steep steps and exposed cliffs as we jockeyed back and forth from one side of the side-canyon to another. The views were incredible and the people we passed (and, more often than not, passed us) had interesting stories to share. At about 2 hours in, we passed two guys running. Another 2 hours later, they passed us going back the other direction- they were the first of entirely too many Ultra Runners who were headed South-to-North-to-South all in one day. That's 48 miles, 11,000 feet down and 11,000 feet back up. Freaks!
As the terrain changed to desert, the trail evened out. When I say even I don't mean level, I mean consistent. Unfortunately, it was a consistently smooth 10% downward grade. That doesn't sound bad until you realize your toes are slamming up against the inside of your shoes with every step. Bruised toes: bad.After 14 miles and about 8 hours (slow and steady wins the race...and comes out with toes intact!) we arrived at Phantom Ranch. It was built between 1922 and 1936 and it was another mystery to us. I don't know how many times we said "now how did they build/do/get that down here 80 or 90 years ago??". Let me tell you, this is definitely the way to go if you ever want to do a rim-to-rim. It's no Ritz, but you get a bed, shower, steak dinner and a huge breakfast. A thousand times more ideal than the guys at the neighboring campground who packed their tents and all their gear in and, worse yet, had to pack it right back out the next day. The family style dinner was a highlight- you meet so many interesting people when camping. "Interesting" can be defined many ways. We met first-time hikers, couples who have made an annual trip out of it for the last 18 years, and lots of people from other countries. I've noticed this every time I've been to a national park- well more than half the visitors (and especially the hikers/campers) are foreigners. While it's fun to hear completely different perspectives on all parts of life, it's almost a little sad that more of our own citizens don't take more advantage of the parks.
Ater dinner we very slowly walked (in flip flops- God's greatest gift to my feet at the time) the half mile down to the river to catch the sunset.
At breakfast the next morning, our hostess wished us safe hiking, gave us a pep talk and then said the magic words "it's supposed to be 104 down here today". Don't need to tell me twice- let's get some elevation below us before that happens. We were on the trail by 6am. We crossed the river at sunrise and followed the river for a mile or so before we hit our first real climb.
At breakfast the next morning, our hostess wished us safe hiking, gave us a pep talk and then said the magic words "it's supposed to be 104 down here today". Don't need to tell me twice- let's get some elevation below us before that happens. We were on the trail by 6am. We crossed the river at sunrise and followed the river for a mile or so before we hit our first real climb.The Devil's Corkscrew set of switchbacks was much easier than its name might suggest. In fact, Dad and I both said (stupidly) at the top "wow- that wasn't bad- I did much better than I expected". The trail leveled out as we approached the halfway point- Indian Gardens. Who would have thought you'd find a wet, green, cool oasis in the middle of desert conditions? In case you were wondering, this is where our cell service returned. Our "rest stop" there involved phone calls and text messages. Stop the madness!!
We headed out of Indian Gardens with 4.5 miles and 3 hours behind us and 4.5 more miles to go. Those 4.5 miles would take 5 hours. We climbed and climbed and switchbacked and switchbacked. It wasn't 104, but it was in the 90s. The fact that it was dry heat made a difference, but it was still hot! We took it slowly and stopped often- James and Brett (who could probably have halved our time) were patient with me and Dad. Thankfully, the stops forced us to stop staring at our feet and look out and appreciate our views.
We sucessfully made it to the top at 2pm and I was so desperate to shower I about ran another half mile to get us checked in to our final hotel. Brett, James and I spent the rest of the afternoon sitting on a porch overlooking the South Rim people-watching and drinking what was quite possibly the best beer we'd ever had. Dad joined in for the sitting and watching part.I'm putting a link to the left to our Shutterfly album if you want to see more pictures. I'll put the link to James' pictures up soon if you want even more. Thanks to Dad for planning an incredible adventure and thanks to Mom for keeping two toddlers and five dogs for five days! Thanks, also, to all our friends who pitched in and fed, played with, took to church and sunscreened our kids while we were gone. 
