Carrie

This weekend, my parents made the difficult decision to put their eldest dog, Carrie, to sleep. (she's on the far right of that very old picture- not all five dogs are theirs, Willow and Maggie are in there somewhere) We got Carrie when I was a senior in college so she's been around a while. Her drastically declining health made the decision the right thing to do, but certainly not the easy thing.

At the ripe old age of 35, I have actually not experienced much death. I have been through two dog deaths prior to Carrie (the first being in 5th grade); I have only lost one grandparent; and, although I experienced the deaths of too many friends during college, most of those weren't exceptionally close to home.

I really wasn't sure how to handle the concept with Makena and Reese. It's amazing how God handles it for you. He has created two intelligent and capable (relatively speaking) creatures who didn't buckle and cry like I did.

Me: Carrie died this morning.

Makena: why?

Me: because it was time for her to go to heaven and be with Jesus.

Makena: well....where is her skin?

Me: it's in a box burried in Grandmommy and Granddaddy's back yard.

Makena: where are her eyes?

Me: her eyes, ears, feet, hair, skin...everything you see is in the box under the ground.

Reese: so that no animals will eat her? (interesting first thought)

Me: yes. But her soul is in heaven with Jesus.

Makena: what's a soul?

Me: stumbling for a decent answer that will appease a 4 year old. I came up with something.

Makena:....so...will Jesus give Carrie her eye drops? (Carrie had glaucoma and had to have eye drops every day)

Me: no, because now that she's in Heaven, she has new eyes.

Reese: no- her eyes are in the box so that no one will eat her. (uhhhhhh.....yeees)

Me: right, but when she got to Heaven, God gave her a whole new body that won't get sick and eyes that don't hurt her and that don't need drops anymore.

Reese: is Grandmommy crying right now?

Me: yes. She is very sad.

...I don't remember many more of the details, but it was interesting to me that Makena (who is extremely literal) wanted to get to the heart of the differentiation of where Carrie's body was and where her soul was yet Reese was more interested in whether or not any scavengers were going to get to Carrie's "skin" and if anyone was currently crying. The differences in their ages and personalities is so interesting to see. Brett and I have a bad habit of lumping them together developmentally- which is really unfair to Reese- after all, at this age, the 14 months between her and Makena is 33% of her life!

We will all miss Carrie. She was a very sweet dog and a loyal and selfless companion. The decision to end a life is, hands down, the worst part of being a dog owner. I dread the day that we cross that bridge with our dogs.