We have lied to our children more in the last 6 days than we have in the last 4.5 years. We finally got an Elf-on-the-Shelf. Our elf, please note, is straight from my Grandmother's trunk-o-Christmas-deocrations and he's been around since at least my childhood. A friend described him as "like one of those dried-apple people they sell at Cracker Barrel". He wasn't far off.
Esmerelda (who is a boy, mind you) makes his appearance somewhere in the house every morning, observes the kids and their behavior all day, then goes back to the North Pole each night to report to Santa. The next morning, he magically appears back in the house...ideally in a different spot from where he was the previous day. Makena doesn't quite buy it, but she hasn't decided how to express it. Please note how the lies just roll off the tongue...
Makena: how does he get here every morning?
Me: he flies.
Makena: when does he get here?
Me: while you're asleep.
Makena: does he wear the same clothes every day?
Me: yes.
Makena: when does he wash them?
Me: Oh, Mrs. Claus washes them every Sunday (Betty Friedan just rolled over)
Makena: well...when does he eat?
Me: when he's at the North Pole. He only has to eat a little bit every day. He eats elf bread.
Makena: (eyeing her dinner roll) will he fall off the shelf (or window cornice, Christmas Tree, mantle, etc)?
Me: no. He's very good at balancing. He practices yoga.
upon observing the other few elves that Grandmother has displayed at her house
Makena: you have elves, too, GG??
GG: yes (not quite sure how to answer)
Makena: well...what children are those elves watching?
Me: those are retired elves. They used to watch children every year, but they got too old. Now they hang out here with GG & Honey's friends.
Makena: do they play Wii Bowling with Honey?
Me: I don't know- you'll have to ask Honey.
Regardless of whether they buy it or whether their behavior is affected by it, they have a BALL racing down the hall first thing in the morning trying to find him in his new spot.
Merry Christmas to all and remember...a wrinkled old (potentially cross dressing) elf named Esmerelda is watching!
4 comments:
This made me laugh out loud. I can just hear little sweets firing away question after question as her mind works overtime trying to make sense of it all. xo
Love this story. I left your blog and was still laughing about it two blogs later, so I had to stop back to tell you :)
We started the Elf also this year! It's my next blog but the girls (mostly EK) is enamoured by him and just like Makena...how he does all he does each night!! HA
So funny.
Post a Comment